hu......~

it takes a long time for me to write a new post..
maybe because i'm busy with a lot of assignments and try to stabilize my life right now....
hahahahahah


with my new post today...
i would like to describe about 2 person that important in my life after my parents...
i do not know whether they read my blog or not...
but i don't care because i just want to say something interesting about them...
there is a girl and a boy that i met...

let me describe about this girl first..

she is older than me, but i'm bigger than her..hahahaha
sometimes...i always said to her...
"owh you just act like my mom"...
hahahahahha
before this i never realize bout that...
but..lately..when i heard she lecturing me...
oh ya..same as my mom..heheheh

sometimes i thought she just said meningless...
but..when i think again...it have moral story of what she has said to me...
for me..she is tough person...
in front of everybody, she tried so hard to be strong...
but inside her heart..she is really sensitive...
makes friend with her make me realize..
something in this worl with a different perspective..
but the most thing i really thankful to Allah is...

Allah gave me a bestfriend that can brought me to appreciate everythings in my life..
She taught me how to survive in this cruel world,
She taught me how to appreciate my all friends..
She taught me how to suitable myself with others person..
She also..taught me about love..hahahahah
And..for me..her life is so tough...

But..i really solute at her because she could survive herself...
She could act as a strong sister in front of her siblings...even thought she's crying inside...
However....her action usually change proportional to her mood..
aiseyh...sometimes make me confuse about her...

However..when i felt give up...her words make me wake up again...
i really thankful to her...but i can't said it to her..
because..nanti dier bangga terlebih pulak...hahahahah



hm..ok..lets me describe about another person..
about this guy...
hohoho..

i met him last semester...when i am in first year 2nd sem...
this guy make me tension, frust, sometimes i think he is arrogant..hahahaahah
at the first time i met him, i said owh "owh he is cute"..
BUT..after i know him..."AGHHHHH TENSION!!!"
i'm not tackle him, but i have to do works together with him..
a lot things i know about him...hopefully you all do not think in different ways..

what my impression about him is...he is straight guy..you can't make funny with him..
Perfectionist, less talk, doing works with his own style, stress when have a lot of works to do,
Fierce(hahahaha), he lives in his own world (suka buat hal sendiri),
and everythings i do, it must not same as what he expect...hohohoho
everything about him is really different with me, my life, my attitude, and i'm tension with him..

huhuhu...
but...more i know about him...more i become confuse.....
he's different with my first impression..really different...

hohoho...

sometimes his funny even though he does not know how to make joke
sometimes he act so sweet..and get me harder to forget him....
sometimes he is really bored, make me wanna to try to make him laugh..
sometimes i dream about him, and make me smile when i woke up in the morning...
now i know..
i love him..

but...

i realize..he never like me as i love him...

it's hard for me to forget him..he is everything around me...
aghhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i don't know what to do, what to say, where should go and how could i do to forget him...
i did not tell him that i love him, because i am to shy to tell my feelings..
i just give him a lot of hints, i get positive feed back..but know i confused........
i am really confused why he act so sweet than nowadays just go away from my life...
he ignore me, never try to make joke with me again and lately we always have a fight...
aghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

where should i go???
in facebook i see him, in ym i know what he doing,
in real life...everyday there must be anyone telling me about him..
i dont want to love him, i want to forget him..
it is really hard for me to love him because i really2 love him....
i want to go away from him, but..i cant..
if i saw him, i know my feeling is getting more deeper...
the truth is, it is really hurt when i know he chat with my friends,
but in the same time he ignore me...angry at me...
everything i do there must be somethings wrong...

i hate him, hate, hate, hate!!!!!!
what could i do to forget him...
to replenish all my sweet memories with him...
if i have a portion to forget someone, i rather take it everyday even though it will make me die..
it is really hurt for me..
now i know, love is really sweet but hurt, happy but sad, enjoy but crazy..
agh i don't know what i'm saying..


what i want to say here..
if you love some one, tell him/her...
it does not means only to the person that you want to be with..
but...
the person that you think it is really important in your life..
like your mum, dad, friends and so on...
say it to them before it is too late and at that time you will feel regret..

What is FriendShip????

Did you ever thought what is friendship???
How it be, and how it could be???
Is it just say hello, and then we declare he/she as our friend???
Just easy like that???

And now....
just look at our friends....
is she or he or they can be our true friends??
are they really2 our friends or just "touch n go" friends??

or..

are they can be our enemy????
and....
look at ourselves...
are we qualified to have special friends like we have now???

are we as good as they are???

are we could be their true friends???

could help them when they in trouble???

hm....think....

there have been many years.....
everythings we share together..

happiness, sadness, hurt and moreover...

every feeling we shared without any secret in our heart...

the memory that we could not delete it in our life..

it is traditionally if we cried, hurt, happy, excited just because of our friends

all that thing are the colours of our life...

why we always said "friends forever, friendship never end, friendship has infinity value"... ???

Is it just a poem???
if you really appreciate them in your life, try to be nice with them..

maybe it is hard to say " i love you my friend"

but we could try to take care our friends and protect them..

always be beside he/she....

so many years ago...

my first school in my life was SK KLANG GATE...

it was a wonderful time in my life...

first time in my life i have a lot of friends, have bestfriends,

learn how to communicate with a lot of people

and everything was a first time...

when i am in secondary school...

since form 1 till form 3,

my life have been filled with a lot of colour with my friends at SMK TAMAN MELATI.....

i'm happy, though, open minded, sad, excited, angry, and furthermore because of them...

what i love them mostly is.....they have a value to protect their friends..

in other words is...they will unite....will protect their friends if anything happen..

all of them still in my memory and my heart...

then...

it is traditionally we have to seperate then...

after that, i always have a nightmare....

i did not find any friends like them anymore....

in 2 years at the "new place".....

i keep thingking about them...

hm...sorry to say..i'm not happy at "new place"..

because of friends..

i did not found any true friends like them anymore...

only a little friends i have at the "new place"...(i mean as my best buddy)

and...

i become a different..

i'm not happy and everything i do, i felt useless...

and after that.......

i keep remind myself...

i dont want to remember anything about my "new place"...

it's sound cruel...but i am very hurt at that "new place"...

however...there have been 3 years past after my "new place"

lately...all surround me make me thing about the "new place"...

hm...it is true at "new place" i learn a lot of things about life...
but....agh......
mybe i'm happy now because i can't remember a lot of things at my "new place"...
but...in another part of myself...
i know i miss all the memory at "new place"..
but now..
what could i do...???
if everytime i refresh my memory at "new place", i will hurt...
hm..
nowadays i only keep in touch with a few person...
that is really special in my life when i met them at "new place"..
i'm sorry....
truly, i am actually miss that "new place"..

then after then "new place"...
i further my study at new peaceful place...
i really relax, calm, and my mind open again..
i realize...
i found my true friends again..
however....maybe because of my past time, my nightmare in my life....
i lost a lot of memory....hm...
it is really hurt...
lost memory about the people i love...(i mean my friends)....
only by looking at their picture keep me refreshing about them...
but the best thing is..i could still keep in touch with them..

sometimes they call, sms, and i know they still my friends...

and now...
i am at UTeM...
hm...
and i dont want to miss a thing like what happened in my peaceful place...
thats why now...
every moment i try to keep the memory really tight at my mind and my heart..
keep it tightly so there is no one can take it away from me..
and..
i tried my best to capture their picture so it can be a moment that i can keep remind and always make me smile...

and also..

they is supportive, unite, and more open minded...

maybe 10 years soon, we all seperate....

but i dont want this relationship end....

i want to tell a story to my children about them all...

tell what we have been trough...

how we study....

enjoy ourselves...

and many more....
i love them all...

Refreshing My Memory To The Past

I still remember my lovely past time when i still a child. In that time i've been sent to my nanny house when my parents working from 8 am to 5 pm. I called my mom as "Mak" while my nanny as "Ibu". Ibu was the person who taught me about alphabet "a b c" until i master in it. Hahaha. She be my nanny until i was 7 years old. I miss her. On the other side,even though my mom working, she never forget me. She always bought me story books or colouring book and sometimes food for me. I love my mom. And it is still fresh in my mind every day i saw my mom coming home, i felt very excited ad than i ran to my house to see my mother. My mom always said that you must remember what you study today because soon u will use it again. And it's true! My mom also always bought soo many books for me to study and practice. Furthermore, she also asked me to make exercise inside the books before i can go playing at the outside. The best part is, the exercise that i must doing is more advance than i should do. When i was at standard 3, my mom ask me to do exercise for student at standard 4. Hahahhaha it sounds like crazy but that style can make me more clever than my fellow friends. But now, why i don't follow my mom style yeah??? If yes, nowadays i must be the cleverest person in this world...hahahaha( daydreaming again). About my father, sometimes he always make me laugh but sometimes i got no response from him when i was telling something. Haha what so ever he still my dad. Then there many years past and i grown up. I became a teenager. People always said the hardest part in your life was when you are a teenager. And that is true!! I know everyone of us have been through in this situation. Trap between era of child and adult. When i at 11 and 12 years old, i always keep myself inside my room and locked the door. There is nothing i'm doing but i always keep away from my parents. I became a different person, always daydreaming and my study also going down. Hahahahah served me right. I don't know why i act like that. Hurm...maybe because of hormon..However i am very thankful to Allah because i can adapt my terrific time quickly. When i'm going to high school, i've learned about life, i met many wonderful friends that could bring me to the right way and also i do not keep away myself from my parents again. When i'm going to a boarding school, i realize that i missed so much things to share with my parents. It is because after i entered a boarding school, there is no time i could spent more with my parents. In that time i'm crying because i felt very stupid because of my big decision in life. However, we dont know what it said "Hikmah dari Allah", after i entered a boarding school, my relationships with my parents are more thighten than ever. Everytime i want to back to hostel, i make sure i kiss my mom before back to hostel. I did not feel shy even though i kissed her in public. I dont want to miss anythings that very important in my life again. Until nowadays, my relationships with my family are very tight and i share every secrets with my mom like we are bestfriend. I love my parents..mak and abah.